♥ Boystyle: A Style In Its Own - (Plus a quick note!) ♥

It feels like it has been so long since I've touched this blog of mine! The past few weeks have been immensely busy for me as of late, as my boyfriend and I have moved from our small apartment to a new home. The home is a little older but it's absolutely beautiful! The previous homeowner had planted small garden plots all around the front and back lawns. There are small flowers just starting to bloom right now - the tulips have started growing especially strong!

Since we're almost done settling in, I'd like to start blogging again in full force! 

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Today's article is all about boystyle! While some view boystyle as a substyle of lolita, I believe that it's more of a sister style (or bother style, rather) in the same vein as Aristocrat. 

Boystyle is a style reminiscent of aristocrat, but in more of a 'young', boyish style. The style is known as ouji in Japanese circles, Kodona in North America and other western communities, but is most normally referred to as shounen-kei or "boy style". Some incorrectly refer to the style as dandy, which is late 18th to 19th century male fashion, not to be confused with this modern style. While it does share some style elements, they are two very different fashion styles.

[Source: (left) Lavenderlillies, (right) Aerynsys ]

While normally seen with a gothic, pirate, or punk styled look, boystyle also is worn in sailor, sweet, classic and other various substyles not unlike lolita fashion. While bloomers are most commonly seen, other elements in the fashion include long pants, knickerbockers, culottes, and very rarely, jodhpurs. The jacket and waistcoat combo is a very strong staple in boystyle. Similar to lolita fashion, blouses are immensely important to the style and must be worn, with the exception of cutsews and other appropriate tops. Other common pieces in boystyle are blouses. Other items seen in boystyle include jabots, cravats, ties and bowties, bow clips, suspenders, cuffs, spats, hats and other hair accessories.

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Boystyle is not necessarily a male-only style and if often worn by both men and women, alike. Boystyle is not completely limited to an overly masculine look either. One can coordinate the style in a completely mature and masculine style, but also in a cute and feminine style as well. It's very common to see coordinates that blend both masculine-styled and feminine-styled items together. 

[ Source: (left) Tatiana M., (right) EndlessTeaTime ]

Boystyle is easily one of the most difficult styles to dress in. Many people when they first try wearing boystyle often just throw a pair of bloomers or short pants with a male dress shirt and very little accessories, but it normally falls flat or doesn't really look reminiscent of the fashion. While simple coordinates can be done, they still require a lot of effort and skill. Boystyle is more than just dressing like a boy, it requires the same level of skill and item acquiring as lolita fashion.

So how does one make a good boystyle coordinate? Here are a few tips to start.

• Boystyle is about appearing like a boy, even if worn effeminately, so it's a good idea to wear your hair short or in an updo. Ponytails and braids are also acceptable if incorporated well. Long hair can be worn as well, but it's uncommon and good to leave to the more experienced boystyle wearers, as it can be very difficult to pull off.
• Heels, mary-janes and teaparties are very feminine, so try to go for shoes or boots with simple chunky heels or a platforms for a more  boyish look. Oxford shoes are also commonly worn. Oxford-style heels are uncommon but can be worn if coordinated well.
• Keep makeup as natural as possible, unless wearing a very extravagant or themed outfit. It's good to try to keep as androgynous as possible and makeup is a large part of that.
• Think of coordinating boystyle in the same terms as lolita - even the plainest coordinates need something to pull it all together. For a very plain coordinate it is good to have tops and bottoms with notable details, such as pintucks and laces Headwear and accessories are very important to the style in the same way as lolita fashion and shouldn't be ignored. The little things are what pulls things together and makes an outfit interesting!
• Alice and the Pirates, Innocent World, Miho Matsuda, Putumayo, and Metamorphose are all brands that release boystyle pieces. It's good to study their example coords and how they put them together.
• If the big brands are unaffordable, Bodyline and Fanplusfriend also release replicas of popular boystyle and aristocrat pieces. Quality may vary depending on the item. Taobo brands such as Dear Celine, Surface Spell and Infanta release original boystyle pieces as well.
• Try practicing making coordinates with pictures online, either with paint or similar programs or with websites like Polyvore. It's free and good practice to improve your coordinates!

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I hope you enjoyed this brief introduction to boystyle. How do you feel about boystyle?

If you have any questions, or would like some advice on the style, please let me know!

Thanks for reading!

♥ Posing Like A Lolita ♥

In my opinion, the most difficult thing about lolita fashion is knowing how to pose. Even with my past experiences with cosplay, I still had a very difficult time with posing. With cosplay, I had just copied poses directly from the source material, but in lolita you can't exactly do the same thing. You can copy model poses out of Gothic Lolita Bibles and other publications, but not every pose will work for everyone.

I know others also have had or continue to have trouble with poses that suit the lolita fashion, so I've decided I would make a little guide in posing for lolita to try to help! This guide includes both photos as well as drawn examples, featuring a character of mine from an upcoming webcomic!

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The Smile & Expressions

The hardest part of posing for photos is making your facial expression look natural and comfortable. This can be a very difficult thing, especially if you're not used to being photographed. 

The most important thing is your smile. A full smile is great for well-angled candid shots, but otherwise tends to make photos look uncomfortable. A small/half smile is perfect for photos, as it looks delicate and also hides gums and teeth. A closed smile can also be nice. They're great for close-ups, but don't come across as well for full photos. Silly faces also work really for dynamic poses and can be cute!

It's good to give yourself a range of facial expressions in photos, in order to learn what face works best for you. Practicing in a mirror also helps you learn the right 'angles' for your face and  how to control your expression.

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Selfies and Close-Ups

Almost everyone in this generation is guilty of 'the selfie'. I think selfies are a nice and cute way to show of your hair, makeup, and general look! Selfies are also nice practice for getting your expressions and angles right for a photoshoot setting later on.

The two most important things for close-ups and selfies (and photography in general) is the lighting and the angles. In lolita fashion, it's good to take photos in natural light or in shadows. It's very important to not use too powerful lighting, as it can wash out the details in your outfit. For super-close-up style photos, you can use strong lighting as a way to wash out features. It's a very cool look for gothic, aristo and boystyle!

It's good to vary your angles in your photography, but the most flattering angle is definitely holding the camera at a slightly higher angle. It makes your eyes look larger! slightly turning your face to the left or tight makes the photo look much cuteer! If you have a nose you're not happy about, it's good to look straight-on to the camera, to make it look smaller.

[Photo Source - Frilly Pink Dreams]

Another good look for close-ups is the cute 'hand on face' pose. Holding ones hand on the cheek or chin can look very cute or playful, depending on how the face is held. It is a nice and carefree pose!

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Leg Posing

One of the most difficult part of posing for me is figuring out what to do with my legs, haha. After reading many lolita magazines and studying poses, I found two (technically three) poses that work for almost everyone.

"The Straight and Narrow"

[Photo Source - Lunie Chan ]

 This pose is really easy and simple. Just keep your legs completely straight and point your toes forward. This make your legs look slimmer - no matter which angle they're taken from!

The "pigeon toed" look isn't much different from this and does look very cute. Though, a good thing to keep in mind with when pointing your toes together is 'keep it subtle'. Rocking your feet to their side or pushing your toes together so that you can nearly see the sides of your shoes is far too much. Just point them subtly together, only a little, for that cute look.

With this pose you can also have one leg slightly behind the other, for a more mature or formal look.

[ Source - BTSSB Ad]

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"The Dainty Princess"

This is a very popular pose and one of my favourites! It really flatters almost all types of legs, but especially flatters those that are thicker or more muscular. You want to just subtly push your one leg farther back, but not enough to look forced, or like a curtsy. If you are unable to stay balanced, you're pushing your leg too far bag. It's just a simple half-step back, keeping the weight on the tip of your toe.

[ Photo Source - (left) Brookellebeebs (right) AP ad ]

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Arm Posing

When trying to pose, I find my arms tend to flop over to my side too often. It gets boring and often looks tired and makes coords look frumpy. Confident arms makes a confident outfit!

"The Superhero"

This pose is the most basic and often poses used for models and in runways, for good reason. By placing your arms on your waist, it makes it look slimmer and more defined. This pose is also great for a confident looking model! Be careful if you have wide or thick shoulders, this pose does accent them.

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"The Lady"

This pose is really great for keeping an innocent or sweet look. It works very well for both classic and sweet outfits! By placing your arms together in a "V" shape, it creates a slimming look to your waist and also pushes your shoulders inward, creating a soft and sweet look. This pose can look a little plain with straight-posed legs, so it's good to pose the legs crossed or dynamically to avoid a boring look.

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"The Magical Girl"

This pose does look a little "Japanese Tourist" but it's still a very cute pose! The hand-on-waist-look give that extra bit of definition to the waist, and the lifted arm helps create less of a boxy looking frame. The "V" sign adds a little splash of kawaii to this otherwise plain pose! You can also change the posing of the hand in a 'cat paw' pose or another other cute hand-signs to keep things fresh.

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I do apologize for the length of this guide! I wanted to get all the bases covered, haha. I hope this helped!
What poses are your favourite? Are there any poses not in this guide that you love? 

Thanks for reading!

♥ A Guide to Twinning ♥

Twinning is a common and fun way to wear lolita with friends. Twinning is a term used for two or more people wearing the same main piece (OP, JSK, or skirt) together in a similar style. 

Twinning is not limited to two people only, but it is the most commonly seen done in pairs in twin lolita. Sometimes it is done with three, four or more people at once. Many lolita communities, both online and offline, organize meetups and events surrounding twinning style. Twinning has been done in lolita fashion for decades and is a popular way to wear lolita.

This style is a bit more complicated than it may initially seem, as there are many different forms of twinning!

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The Perfect Match Style

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This is the most common and easily recognizable style of twinning. In this style, the wearers wear the exact same outfit, down to the smallest details. All of the colours and items are identical. Sometimes the wearers will flip the items in a way, so that it looks similar to looking in a mirror. This is the most difficult style of twinning to wear and usually requires planning ahead in order to have all matching items.

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The Opposite Style

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Opposite colour twinning is one way to be a bit more 'individual' while twinning. It's exactly the same as true 'perfect match' twinning in which the wearers will wear the exact or near-identical items, but it varies in which the wearers can wear a different colourway in the items. In this style, there is more room for varying items.

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Sometimes the opposite style isn't done as seen above with the identical items but in different shades, and instead does opposite elements. One wearer will wear a dark blouse and light tights for example, and the other will wear a light blouse and dark tights. They are still the same identical items, but have a much different feel than simply changing the colours. It creates a very interesting look!

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The Same Item, But Worn Differently Style

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This is the least challenging form of twinning and the farthest straying from the idea of 'twins'.

While this isn't a bad way to twin, many don't view it as true twinning because it's very individualistic and doesn't focus on matching as much. The items can be the same colour or 'opposite' style and there is much more freedom to play with your style in this form of twinning. In this style of twinning, one can even wear a different but similar item. For example, one can wear the JSK but the other wearer can wear the OP.

One must be very careful  with this style though, as straying too far away from the idea of twinning will make it look more like people wearing the same dress rather than people as a pair (or group) together.

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So How Do I Twin?

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Twinning is easy with practice. Before you make a twinning coordinate with another person it's a good idea to try to practice making coords yourself, either with your own wardrobe or with Polyvore or like programs.

When you're ready, it's a good idea to ask your friends first. It's easier to twin with a friend, but if that isn't an option you can ask anyone in your local community or even do practice with someone online!

At this point, you should choose your main piece together and decide on a theme. Most aren't lucky enough to own the exact same items at once, so if you're planning to do 'Perfectly Identical' or 'Opposite Colour' twinning it is a good idea to plan ahead for a specific meetup or event. It's easy to plan ahead and order identical things, rather than try to rush out a coordinate from what you have.

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What do you think of twinning? Which is your favourite style of twinning?

Thanks for reading!

♥ Thrifting and Antiquing - Lolita Style ♥

Personally, I love thrift and vintage stores. I just adore them. Most of the time, it seems like it's endless junk, but it's amazing when you find that perfect piece for you! Thrifting and antiquing are important in fashion. Plenty of fashion bloggers worldwide buy their clothing from modern brands as well as vintage or used clothing stores. Lolita is no exception, as you're able to find plenty of 'lolitables' from these stores as well!

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Plenty of thrifting and antique stores carry lolita-friendly blouses and skirts, as the lacy and flowing style of skirts were often worn in the 1950s and 1970s. These stores can also carry beautiful vintage jewelry and even those old decor pieces and teacups perfect for those passionate lifestylers! Vintage stores are especially good for finding gloves and hats. These gloves are almost always perfect for classic lolita and many popular hat styles from the fifties and sixties that work very well with lolita if incorporated right.

Many store carry vintage gloves like these.
[Source]

When you're choosing items, be very careful to check the condition of the item - seams of the clothing, chips on a teacup, etc. It's highly unlikely that it will break immediately when you bring it home, but it's good to accept something at a level of 'used' you are comfortable with. The most important thing to check, with skirts and dresses specifically, is if the item fits the lolita aestetic. Will it fit a petti? Is it too long or too short? How will it look incorporated into a coordinate? These are all very important questions to ask yourself will thrifting with lolita fashion in mind.

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Not every store will have something perfectly lolita every time, and often these items will require repairs or modifications to 'make it lolita'. Think about how you'd be able to modify or 'lolita-fy' items as you shop. Ask yourself "Is it worth putting the time towards fixing this up?" Sometimes a piece that looks like it will have lolita potential is a lost cause, and it's okay. Sometimes they aren't the right length or they don't have the right shape. Not everything is meant to wear with the fashion and there is no use trying to save what doesn't work.

Lucky thrift find by Tangerine Taiyaki

Now depending where you live, it may be easier or harder to find suitable things. Living in an older city or a 'historical' town it will be much easier to find things, but it's not impossible to find things in a very modern area and small towns. If you thrift, it's good to make it back to your local store(s) every week or two, as the inventory changes all the time! It's also nice to be friendly and get to know the people who own or work at the store. Not only is it great to make new friends, but you may get the added bonus of them holding items they think you'd like.

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In my opinion, thrifting is great for the lolita on a budge but it is impossible to make an entirely thrifted lolita wardrobe without it looking a little off. Thrifting is a wonderful way to expand your wardrobe and find decor and books suitable for lifestylers but ultimately, it's really hard to perfectly match a niche Japanese style with solely local products. It is completely within possibilities to have a handmade wardrobe supplemented by thrifted items, but it's good to keep a realistic view on thrifting and not rely on it soley for your lolita fix.

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♥ Planning Your Own Lolita Meetup ♥

One of the best things about having a local lolita comm is the meetups! Personally, I love organizing meetups but over the years there have been a lot of great meets, meets where things kept going wrong, and absolute failures. It was quite the process, but I eventually got a good grasp on organizing them. Today I'm going to write a few tips for you on organizing lolita meets and hopefully it will help you!

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The first and most important thing is to judge the size of your community. If your community is small, you usually won't have any problems organizing based on size. If your community is large like mine, you must make a decision from the start: "Do I want to have a small meeting with limited seating, or should I organize a larger meetup?" Both can be fun in their own ways, but it is much more difficult to organize for large groups as you will always have to find a suitable location for the size of your group.

With large groups, it's harder to organize meets at small cafes and you will almost always have to make reservations ahead of time for restaurants or events. Large groups can be really fun though! I find it's always a blast with an army of frills around!

If you're part of a large community, and you want to organize a small meetup, I recommend having a 'first come first serve' RSVP system or choose to only invite your most closest friends. In that situation, it's always important to let it be obvious and well-stated that the seating is very limited! There is nothing wrong with having a small meetup with a large group as well, but if you do have them often it's good to try to invite different people every time so that it doesn't seem like you're picking favourites.

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Choosing what to do at your meetup is probably the most important decision in hosting a meet. There are so many different options! One group could love, like, or loathe one thing another group enjoys. It's good to ask your other comm members what type of meets they'd enjoy or even put up a poll on your local comm's online community. You don't always have to organize a meet with their interest in mind (it's your meet after all!) but it's good to get a gauge of what they like and dislike to make it more enjoyable for everyone.

I've come up with a list of, in my opinion, what that sounds like fun meetup ideas:

1. Pot-luck style picnic or visiting a park
2. Botanical gardens
3. Local festivals and events
4. Museums (art, historical, natural, etc)
5. Circus
6. Board game party
7. Alpaca Farm
8. Cake/Desert making classes
9. Crafting/Painting
10. Visiting a beach or boardwalk
11. Berry/fruit picking
12. Theme Parks
13. Shopping/Visiting local malls
14. Historical buildings, streets, etc
15. Flower arranging classes
16. High Tea or tea ceremonies
17. Zoo or Aquarium
18. Rollerskating/Ice skating
19. Library or book-club style get together

Something to keep in mind as well, is that not all meets have to be 'traditional' lolita events. While tea parties, small cafes, the theatre and ballet all sound fun, they can be a bit dull if it's the only thing you're doing. It's okay to experiment or just do fun things for the sake of wanting to do them! 

When choosing your meetup location it's also good to keep in mind how accessible it is for your community. Is it easy to get to with public transit? If it's outside of your local area, how will everyone get there? Will people volunteer to transport others? 

If you're having a meetup where food is provided or made, it's also good to check everyone for allergies or food restrictions before the meetup. That way, it's respectful to your fellow comm members and doesn't draw attention to things they may not want to publicly disclose.

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Details are the most important thing when organizing a meetup. Have a time, date, and place ready as far in advance as possible. It's good to give plenty of time in order to have everyone be able to make room in their schedules. Have a set time for your meet have a set time and be sure to be there at least 15 minutes early. As the organizer it's your duty to wait for everyone and not skip ahead if everyone isn't there yet. If your meetup is at a timed event, for example a movie or dinner reservation, make sure that people know to be there early and that if they are late they won't be able to take part!

It is possible to organize a meetup around a dress-code or a theme as well. When organizing a meet based on a theme or a dress-code, try not to be too specific. Having a very specific theme, like 'painting print dresses', would be unfair to those who don't own that style of print and could minimize the amount of people who would go to your meet. Having a theme like Alice in Wonderland would be easier since it's a bit more 'general' and easy to work with in multiple styles and colours.

It's also very important to check the weather, road conditions, and other variables the day before and the morning of the meetup. As an organizer it's good to be prepared for everything. For rain, sun, or snow, it's good to give your meet attendees an idea of what the weather will be like so that everyone could prepare and make their outfits suitable for whatever will come their way. Also, if you're going to a place where their clothes might get wet, dirty, or that there may not be a lot of room for big petticoats, it's also good to let them know this in advance.

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Planning meetups can be very difficult and a lot of work, but in the end it's very much worth it! Meetups are very fun and it's so nice to get together with locals who also dress in the fashion. When organizing meets, there will always be mistakes and things that go wrong, but don't fret! Everyone learns with experience, I sure did. Good luck!

♥ Lolita Fashion in Media: Anime & Video Games ♥

Since lolita has been a part of Japanese culture for well over 20 years now, it's not surprising to hear that it has influenced creators of anime, videogames, and other forms of media. These designs can range anywhere from amazing to down-right terrible. Today I'd like to show you a few of my favourites, a few funny designs, and a few that are confusing.

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With anime, for the most part, it's a minefield filled with awful 'lolita' inspired outfits. Certain series do try fairly hard to get it right, like Rozen Maiden, Paradise Kiss, or Black Butler (with kodona, anyway), but quite often it's a miss rather than a hit. I'd rather not spend a lot of time displaying the endless "meh" designs, but you can see quite a few of them on the Anime Character Database here.

A few designs that I think have great potential are from the series Fantasista Doll. They can be a little bit out there, as it is anime, but for the most part I find them close to recent lolita trends! Other characters from the series are influenced by japanese trends and tropes like other jfashion styles, maids, military outfits, schoolgirls, and more.

Another character I really like is Ruri, from Oreimo. Her outfit is very reminiscent of old school gothic lolita but steers very far from most 'old school' inspired anime outfits! It's actually fairly on par! I wouldn't be surprised if a lolita brand have or will make a collab with this anime in mind.

It's nice to see that not all Lolita fashion in anime is terrible or innacurate. I do hope to see more accurate outfits and current lolita trends in anime in the future!

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One of my favourite lolita-inspired outfits in videogames is worn by the character, Cordelia from Shadow Hearts: Covenant. Cordelia is a ball-jointed doll controlled by her master Gheppeto, for use in battles. Cordelia is a magic-type character, and equips different outfits to use different elements and powers. Most of Cordelia's outfits are fairly normal and cute outfits, but one of her outfits, Dark Beauty,  looks like something straight from Moi Meme Moitie! The game was released in 2004, so it's a little surprising they got it so accurate for the styles of the time!

Shadow Hearts isn't perfect however, and they can get things very, very wrong. While still one of my favourite characters, Hildagard Valentine, or Hilda, has an outfit that isn't the best representation of the fashion. Hilda is a vampire, who's believes she's an amazingly strong superheroine. Her combat revolves around 'Calories'. (It's very tongue in cheek, don't worry!) When she is thin, her abilities are magic-based, whereas when she is chubby, her moves are melee-based. She can also transform into a pink bat.

As a character, she is great and her outfit suits her for her personality for sure, but it still isn't a very good representation of the fashion. I do think with some modifications, it does have great potential though!

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RPGs aren't the only games with lolitas in them, as fighting games also have a few frilly ladies! On the right, is Ninon from the King of Fighters series. While some of her outfits can be a little bit strange, they definitely put  the effort into making her outfit reflect the fashion it is inspired by. Granted, the spikes on the headdress, the roses on her tights, and the corset are a bit out there, but it looks like an outfit a lolita would wear. It's a little dated, as the game was released in 2006, but I think she's still a good representation of lolita fashion.

Ninon

Lili

However, with every great Ninon, there is a confusing Lili. Emilie De Rochefort, also known as Lili, is a characer from the Tekken fighting game series. In designing Lili, the creators explicitely said they were influenced by lolita fashion. I can understand they have to design the outfit with the mechanics and keep in mind the full-body movement there characters have, but I wish they could have done a little bit more research before slapping the 'lolita fashion' tag on the character.

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There are many, many more characters out there that I would love to write about but I don't want to get too carried away! If you enjoyed this article, please let me know! I can definitely make a more in-depth part 2!

♥ Making the Most of Your Lolita Communy! ♥

My favourite part of wearing lolita fashion is having the support, friends, and good times that come with having a lolita community. There are many lolita communities worldwide, both online and in offline local communities spanning cities, countries, and continents! For many people, it can be difficult to find a community for them or it can be hard to adjust or fit in to their new found community. With this entry today, I'd like to try to help in making finding your community and making the best of your community!

Finding Your Community

There are plenty of online lolita communities, though not a lot of them are very active. The most popular and knowledgable is of course, EGL on Livejournal, but there are plenty other lolita communities such as the LolitaFashion.org forums,  Gaia Online Lolita Fashion subforum, and Lacebook (which is invite-only at the moment). As well, there are communities devoted to all J-fashion styles such as Harajuju and My Asian Fashion. All of these communities have varying sizes, activity, and experience levels but the large variety means there will be a forum for everyone.

Personally I've found quite a few local communities have a strong online presence, most often on Livejournal and Facebook. A currently anonymous person created a wonderful directory of Lolita communites around the world, including their online communities and where to join them. It's incredibly helpful in finding a group of lolitas closeby.

If you cannot find a local community, there are plenty of places to ask! Personally, I found asking on EGL will usually point you in the right direction. If there is absolutely no lolita community local to you, and you'd like to make one, Facebook is a great place to create one as I've found it can be easy to find other local lolitas via other related interests there.

Joining Your Community

Once you've found your local or online community, don't be scared! If you're nervous, it can be good to lurk and observe for a bit, but I've found diving right into it and introducing yourself is very worth it! With all of the communities I've joined everyone has been welcoming and kind to newcomers and your local community should be no different.

A thing to keep in mind in joining your lolita community is how you come across to others. Sometimes people can unintentionally come across rude, so just try to visualize how your writing will come across before you post it for others to see. If you can try to be polite, be kind, and try to avoid being blunt when you first start being active in your community. Once people have seen you in person, or have talked to you online for a period of time, it will be easier for them to understand your personality and nuances in your text.

Interacting With Your Community

When you're part of a lolita community, you should try make the most of it.  Be active online and offline if you can. Communities are a great resource, as they're a great way to make friends with similar interests, and best of all, wonderful support in advice on coordinating, buying and selling, and other things related to the fashion.

A great thing about local communities are the meetups. They can be an absolute blast and it's a great way for everyone to show off their best new thing and favourite outfits. I personally adore meetups because I feel much more confident wearing lolita with others wearing the same. I highly recommend going to meets, even organizing them if you can. They're definitely worth a try!

Now lolita communites can be great, but they can also be difficult at times. Not every group is guilty of it, but many can have issues with some members being unpleasant, having attitudes, or worse, spreading gossip and drama. Though it can be tempting at times, I cannot stress strongly enough, do not let yourself get involved in that sort of thing. People can be frustrating, events can go wrong, but don't let it go beyond that. A teeny bit of drama can explode in a very destructive thing. It's best to just let things slide and not effect you. Time heals all wounds, and drama too.

With that said, drama is not normall a problem and I've found most communities to be wonderful, fun, helpful, and an amazing thing to be part of. It can be daunting, and a little frightful, but taking that first step to be part of a community is definitely worth it. I'm part of many communities myself and I am very glad for that. I hope you can find a community for you, too!